: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
