thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
