I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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