So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
