Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Barsexuality is the new black.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
