But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
