Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
