You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
