so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
