This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize