If i come over, it means nothing
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize