yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
