you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
