does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
