i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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