More tranny stories later!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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