puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize