I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
