I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
