I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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