You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
