i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
