the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
