i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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