How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
