I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize