i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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