I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
