so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
