bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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