Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
