Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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