Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
