On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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