if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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