Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
