Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
