If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize