He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
