i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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