just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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