I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
