the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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