Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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