Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Every concussion has its silver lining
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
