dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
