He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
