Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
