I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
