just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
