but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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