are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
