i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
