my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
