last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
