YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
