Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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