butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
