the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
